These signs are from “You know you’re being bullied when…” by Dr. Gary Namie, Workplace Doctor and Founder of the Workplace Bullying Institute.  We are incredibly grateful for the exceptional work of Dr. Namie worldwide.

1. You attempt the obviously impossible task of doing a new job without training or time to learn new skills but that work is never good enough for the boss.

2. Surprise meetings are called by your boss with no results other than further humiliation.

3. Everything your tormenter does to you is arbitrary and capricious, working a personal agenda that undermines the employer’s legitimate business interests.

4. Others at work have been told to stop working, talking or socializing with you.

5. You constantly feel agitated and anxious, experiencing a sense of doom, waiting for bad things to happen.

6. No matter what you do, you are never left alone to do your job without interference.

7. People feel justified screaming or yelling at you in front of others, but you are punished if you scream back.

8. HR tells you that your harassment isn’t illegal, that you have to “work it out between yourselves.”

9. You finally, firmly confront your tormentor to stop the abusive conduct, you are accused of harassment.

10. You are shocked when accused of incompetence despite a history of objective excellence, typically by someone who cannot do your job.

11. Everyone — co-workers, senior bosses, HR — agrees (in person and orally) that your tormentor is a jerk, but there is nothing they will do about it (and deny saying what they said later when asked to support you).

12. Your request to transfer to an open position under another boss is mysteriously denied.

Written by Dr. Gary Namie, Founder, Workplace Bullying Institute.

It is perplexing why women who are beaten by their husbands return to their abuser.  It seems the best solution for the wife would be to leave the toxic environment and find a place of safety, especially if children are involved.  It is my understanding abused women linger in the relationship due to low self-esteem, self-blame and depression.  The quality of life outside the abusive home is a big question mark and the fear can be paralyzing.  In addition, the abuser can be a charming con-artist who fools the outside world that he would never be abusive.

Employees in abusive employment situations are not that different.  A psychologically abused employee will question the quality of life outside their toxic work environment.  Will work-life be better somewhere else?  Maybe it is my fault the boss berates me in front of my coworkers, thinks the confused employee. It is hard to imagine life outside of their current company.  Mortgage payments and bills continue to arrive and force us to work in unmanageable situations.

Furthermore, we are not a nation of quitters. The act of quitting will not be found in the latest motivational best seller or seminar. Leaving a toxic boss and work culture, on the other hand, may be exactly what you need to do when the odds are stacked against you.

Learning this important career lesson was difficult. It is not in my nature to quit.  My inclination is to hang on and try to reverse a bad workplace situation. Helping organizations dissolve toxic environments is encoded in my DNA.  Working for or dealing with workplace bullies, overly aggressive Type A’s, passive aggressive Type B’s, brutal alpha males and females, corporate assholes and outright jerks has had a sadistic hold on me.  Even in the midst of misery I seek to solve problems.

Accept my advice: It does not pay to be Dr. Phil at work.

An abused spouse cannot reform their partner.  Targets of workplace psychopaths will not reform their perpetrator.  Don’t get sucked in and feel sorry for the abusive boss and all their mental or emotional problems. Traumatic Bonding and Stockholm Syndrome are very real issues.

According to Dr. Nikolai Bezroukov, Traumatic Bonding, also known as Stockholm Syndrome, may be defined as the development of strong emotional ties between two persons, with one person intermittently harassing, beating, threatening, abusing or intimidating the other.

When the perpetrator is your boss, pay close attention to the detrimental affects on your life. Staying in your position can cause severe health and family issues.  Look at your options.  There are companies that have Great Workplace Initiatives who have fired all their jerks and abusers.  There is a better place to earn a living and live your life.

Knowing when to quit is an important strategy if you find yourself in a toxic work environment or abusive employment situation.

Now read “Twelve Signs You Work for a Toxic (Bully) Boss” by Dr. Gary Namie

Kevin Kennemer delivered the following speech on Courage to the Oklahoma Business Ethics Consortium Tulsa Chapter on Thursday, March 26, 2009, at the Marriott Southern Hills.  Courage is an OkEthics guiding principle.

Have you ever heard about miner’s canaries?

Canaries were once routinely used in coal mining as an early warning system. Toxic gases such as carbon monoxide and methane in the mine would kill the bird before affecting the miners. Because canaries tend to sing much of the time, they provided both a visual and audible cue in this respect. When the canary was singing everyone knew the environment was safe. The use of miner’s canaries in British mines was phased out by 1987.

The phrase “canary in a coal mine” is frequently used to refer to a person or thing which serves as an early warning of a coming crisis. [Source: Wikipedia]

It is my hope we have not phased out the corporate canaries in the American workplace: Those people who are willing to sacrifice their jobs, incomes or careers for the benefit of others who may not be aware of the toxic cultural practices inside a company’s work environment, including unethical or illegal leadership practices.

For the sake of long-term business viability – for the sake of coworkers and vendors who have bills to pay – for the sake of employees with mortgages, children to feed, and college expenses to cover, we, as an ethics consortium, are hoping to instill this quality and commission members with moral courage.

It is the right thing to do. Having moral courage is in the best interest of your company’s leaders and coworkers. Company loyalty occurs when a person is willing to stand up when others are looking the other way. The person with moral courage is ultimately devoted to their fellow man.

Canaries sing for a living. They have great attitudes and help make the environment more peaceful. If the canary is alive you know the mine is safe.

In other words, canaries are not dangerous, fearsome, rude or aggressive creatures. They are pleasant to be around. They give their lives in order to keep people safe.

Patricia Harned, president of the Ethics Resource Center, says, “When an employee picks up the phone and dials the company’s ethics helpline; when a student approaches the teacher to raise a concern; even as a leader references organizational values as the prevailing principle guiding a strategic decision there is an important dynamic at work.”

President Harned further states, “It is a concept that is not often talked about, but we certainly notice when it is absent. Nevertheless, the ability for people to take risks to do what is right, and the presence of a climate that supports that courage, is a necessary element to the success of any ethics effort.”

In closing, we need people with moral courage in today’s business environment. Moral courage is the ability to make a decision, take a stand, express an opinion, while it may not be popular or culturally acceptable, and face the loss of status or even your job.

People with moral courage do not simply observe and stay silent when laws are broken, policies are ignored, or people are not treated fairly.

If you are ever faced with a toxic company culture situation, it is my hope you will possess moral courage.

VIDEO: Certified Bully-Free Workplace with Valerie Cade

The People Group wants to thank our Canadian friend, Valerie Cade, Founder, Bully Free at Work, for her tireless support in providing helpful advice and communication regarding a serious organizational threat, workplace bullies. Located in Calgary, Alberta, Valerie was recently interviewed on Breakfast Television and explained the distinguishing factors of a bully versus a difficult person.

Why do workplace bullies bully? Bullies want to take control over someone else through deliberate, repeated, cruel treatment.

Who does the workplace bully target? Bullies look for smart, good looking, talented people who possess qualities the bully cannot obtain themselves, so they seek to steal the target’s power through abuse.  Eighty-percent of workplace bullies are bosses who target their talented subordinates.

Are workplace bullies aware of their behavior? Yes.  There is a term, crazy making, according to Cade.  Once you think you have figured out how they work, they will change their methods to keep you off-balance and reduce your power.

What’s the best approach in dealing with a workplace bully? The best approach is to not engage the bully.  Avoidance is not a natural response but necessary due to their psychological imbalance.  Do not allow them to control you through their divisive actions.  Walk away from abusive treatment. Retreat and bring in others to become aware of the bully’s behavior.  There is power in numbers.

We also want to applaud Valerie Cade and The Bully at Work organization for their emerging trend to create Certified Bully Free Workplaces.

How do you kill a company? Make sure your employees are not engaged in the business.

Employee engagement is essential when creating a successful organization.  Engaged employees devote their full energies and enthusiasm to the company’s mission.  The path to winning over an employee’s head, hands and heart requires leaders to eliminate certain sources of interference.  Creating a pleasant work culture with minimal management and environmental interference is the key to organizational success.

Workplace interference can be quite costly if not properly addressed. The following issues are examples of workplace I-N-T-E-R-F-E-R-E-N-C-E that destroys employee engagement:

• I – Incivility: There is never an excuse for a supervisor to treat subordinates with disdain or in a rude manner.  A rude demeanor spreads like wildfire throughout the workplace.  If the company’s top leader possesses a rude disposition, those closest to him/her will likely follow their example.  Incivility from the top has a trickle down effect and will infect the rest of the company over time.

• N – Negativity: People perform better in positive work environments. Negative people and attitudes will drain the energy right out of you.  An eight hour day feels like 24 hours in a negative environment.  Companies should part ways with negative people, even if they are technically competent or politically connected.

• T – Tempers: Check your temper at the door, along with cursing, berating and bullying fellow employees.  Throwing childish temper tantrums is extremely harmful to employee engagement. When the boss has a temper, people will be on edge and unable to perform their best.

• E – Egos. Egomania is likely one of the biggest expenditures in modern business.  If a leader or team member possesses an inflated ego, people typically waste time dancing around their delicate and numerous sensitivities. Egos waste time, resources and prevent the utilization of the entire team’s brain power.  Check your ego at the door before employees and customers run for the exits.

• R – Resources: It is difficult to perform when one lacks necessary resources.  Although companies should monitor expenses closely, your people need training, education, technology, continual feedback and other professional resources that assist in getting the job done.  When a leader denies needed training, employees receive a message they are not important.

• F – Fear: If employees have observed a coworker get in trouble or reprimanded for taking a worthwhile risk in their quest to do a good job, this causes qualified employees to shrink back from future challenges.  Innovation and risk-taking are essential to building a great company.

• E – Elitism: Creating a select group of elite company personalities is harmful to the company’s culture. The presence of elitism is bad news. To perform at their very best, employees want to know they are part of a consolidated team effort.  When managers and executives receive special treatment, the shadow of elitism will make employee engagement unobtainable.

• R – Restricted Communication: When there is restricted communication, trouble is around the corner.  If employees are in the dark concerning the latest company news and information, employees will not perform at their best level.  Communication is like oxygen; without it engaged employees will not survive.  Employees need to know the latest details about their company, department and individual position. When communication is non-existent, employees will make-up answers to their own questions.

• E – Emergencies: I once worked for a supervisor who made every assignment a top priority.  Daily fire drills were commonplace.  When leaders constantly require employees to jump through hoops with unrealistic or unnecessary deadlines, employees will perform the work but mentally unplug.  Effective leaders assign top priority designation only to the most important and deserving projects.

• N – Narcissism: Highly paid executives are susceptible to this psychological dysfunction.  When leaders acquire wealth, they begin thinking they are worthy to be worshiped and require special treatment.  As a result, coworkers and subordinates may be seen as threats to their throne rather than team members.

• C – Care: A top concern of employees is this: Does my supervisor sincerely care for me as a person?  Showing sincere care and concern for your people will fuel employee engagement.  Trust and engagement will dramatically improve with a caring environment.

• E – Equality: All employees should be treated equally.  Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, regardless of their performance or personal background.  Employees take great comfort in knowing they are accepted and appreciated, regardless of their differences.

During lunch the other day I was seeking marketing advice from a good friend and respected business leader.  Full of wonderful and relevant ideas, she mentioned my writing style tended to be very direct.  This Tulsa business leader said a couple of articles seemed to reach out and grab the reader in a more threatening tone.  Because I greatly respect her opinion, I wanted to share some thoughts.

First, I apologize if my writing is too aggressive at times. Unfortunately, we work in a business climate today where overly aggressive behavior is rewarded. The “just get the job done” attitude is not the way to build long-term, viable organizations. Short-term thinking and decision-making, along with greedy behavior, will eventually lead to an organization’s failure.

Why So Direct?

It is not my intention to offend people, just help them think about important people issues at work.  Typically, leaders have no problem being excruciatingly direct with employees.  My role is to be direct with business leaders while trying to avoid a harsh tone.  Your job is difficult.  I feel your pain.

When I played tennis I found improvement was gained when playing against better tennis players. Good tennis players don’t go easy on you.  They serve hard and aggressively attack the ball. Reading challenging people practice articles, whether on this blog or other sources, is a good way to bring reality, objectivity, sincerity and best practices into your organization’s people initiatives.  However, I promise to not throw my racket at you or hit you in the head with a tennis ball – on purpose anyway.

My Dream Became a Nightmare

In my last corporate position the company was full of promise and the possibilities, both personally and professionally, were a dream come true.  I have not met many business people who have had the opportunity to help start a company and be part of the team to see it grow into a multi-billion dollar enterprise with national recognition.  It was a dream come true in many respects.

That dream turned into a nightmare for me and thousands of other stakeholders.  As the chief human resources officer, I began to sense there was something terribly wrong with the leaders and was trying to cautiously work behind the scenes to identify the issues and work with the CEO.  Eventually, my efforts to help address the company’s leadership issues failed, but not without great costs to me personally, physically and financially.

Most whistle-blowers end up being harassed, bullied or disciplined. Fifty-percent of whistle-blowers are fired.

The targets of workplace bullies typically suffer from devastating physical affects.

That company is now in the midst of a nasty, disorganized and prolonged bankruptcy.  The SEC, FBI and IRS are all investigating the events leading up to the bankruptcy filing.

My Writing Style

So why do I write the way I do?  It is my hope your company’s employees will avoid the pain and anguish associated with leadership failure.  Business leaders should take seriously their brand of corporate culture.  All organizations should treat employees with dignity and respect and adopt and model positive people practices.

Everything Rises and Falls on Leadership

Great companies can fall, and quickly. Employees do not destroy companies, the top leaders possess this power to build up or tear down an organization.

I was fortunate to escape that smoldering house before it went up in flames.  Actually, I was thrown out a second story window with only the clothes on my back while the owner was secretly dousing the place with gasoline.  The others inside were either unaware or uninterested in my observations about the company’s future.  Sadly, my predictions came true.

My motivation is to help prevent another leadership meltdown. When leaders fail, they bring many innocent people with them.  The risks are too great to sit and be silent.

Will you join me in spreading the message of Positive People Practices?

IN THE NEWS: See Kevin Kennemer, The People Group, appear in this news story covered by Tulsa’s NewsOn6 about a business owner who avoided layoffs.

When meeting with CEO’s, business owners and leaders, it is in their company’s best interest to understand the advantages of adopting, modeling and promoting a Great Workplace Initiative.  The company wins. The employees win.  Our society wins. Great Workplaces are also better able to avoid the scourge of U.S. corporations – the dreaded layoff.

When times get tough, Great Workplaces are better prepared for difficult business conditions.  According to a recent ground-breaking GreatPlaceJobs.com study, Great Workplaces perform layoffs at half the rate of their average-performing counterparts.  This means job applicants should be searching for companies recognized as Great Workplaces. Below are some observations about layoffs:

• Layoffs should be the last resort, not a knee-jerk reaction to please shareholders.
• A CEO who knows and cares for employees will first attempt cost-cutting measures and involve the entire workforce.
• The goal of drastic payroll reduction is to quickly raise the stock price.*
• Downsizing raises the perceived value of the firm but lowers the actual value.*
• A leader who has to look employees in the eyes has motivation to pursue alternatives to layoffs.
• Companies who avoid layoffs are better prepared to meet customer demand when the economy turns around.

Before you call HR and ask them to cut 10% of your workforce, consider these other cost-cutting strategies adapted from our friends at the Great Place to Work Institute:**

• Involve people to develop strategies. This provides people a sense of control in a difficult situation.  Losing a sense of control in difficult situations can send employees into a tail spin and all their energies will be spent ruminating about the dangers and unknowns ahead rather than the business at hand.
• Share information. Leaders should not run and hide in the board room.  If the leaders are not out front communicating, employees will create answers to their own questions and this information will spread like wildfire via the company grapevine.  And certainly do not force the employees to read news about their very own company in the media.  Leaders are better off sharing information and often.
• Show up, be available and say thank you. Get out of the office and walk around the workplace and visit employees. Listening is a great skill, especially during tough times.  Answer the questions you have answers for and obtain answers for those you don’t.  Be sure to say “thank you” to your employees.
• Start cost cutting with yourself. Leaders should lead by example and that means cutting their own salaries and benefits if that’s what is needed.  Don’t ask employees to do something you are unwilling to do yourself.  Suspend bonus payments for employees and executives.  This will send the message this is a team effort.

What are other alternatives to layoffs?

• Voluntary retirements.
• Allow normal attrition to slim down workforce.
• Reduction in hours for non-exempt employees and pay reductions for exempt employees.
• Offer unpaid leave. There could be employees who would like some time-off to handle some personal matters, further their education, etc.
• Offer reduced-salary sabbaticals with benefits.
• Impose a hiring freeze.
• Quickly work with under-performing employees. If they do not improve, respectfully part ways. Don’t wait until the economy turns south and disguise the separation as a layoff due to economic reasons because survival anxiety symptoms may surface in the remaining employees.
• Cancel business travel, especially with the current accessibility of video conferencing.
• Suspend 401(k) contributions.  But if you do this, make sure the executive retirement plan contributions are suspended too.
• Finally, rid your company of bullies and jerks.  Bullies impair productivity and raise health care costs and paid time off requests.

Great Workplaces outperform their competition, attract and retain the best talent, enjoy greater cooperation among team members, experience high levels of customer satisfaction and employee innovation, plus a number of other wonderful benefits.  It is never too late to start your Great Workplace Initiative.

* Excerpt from Corporate Violence by Dr. Howard Stein citing Jonathan Lurie 1998.  My thanks to Dr. Howard Stein for his friendship and brilliant mind and writing.

** Adapted from Maintaining Trust in Difficult Times” by Amy Lyman, Co-Founder & Director Corporate Research, Great Place to Work Institute.