Throughout my life I have chosen not to engage in the use of profanity. It stems from my devoted faith in God and respect for others taught to me by my parents.  However, in our YouTube movie series, Sid Citrus: A**hole Boss, we have purposefully adopted the term.  There is no other term that properly grabs the attention and isolates the severity of the psychopathic actions of the highly toxic and abusive manager.

Although I am not completely comfortable with the use of the term in our movies and in my writings, I am even more uncomfortable with the terribly costly psychological abuse occurring every day at the hands of corporate assholes, a.k.a., jerks and bullies.

According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, prolonged exposure to workplace psychological abuse leads to debilitating anxiety, panic attacks, clinical depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), gastrointestinal diseases, high blood pressure, diabetes and even suicide.  The affects of long-term psychological abuse in the workplace can set-off a tidal wave of physical and mental health conditions that can forever alter the target of the corporate a**hole’s wrath.  Bottom line, the unchecked, health-harming treatment that continues with the complicit approval of company leaders is more offensive to me than the term, a**hole.

We understand there is a certain amount of resistance to the term.  Realistically, when the word is used in a movie it would, at worst, provoke a PG rating.

The more important issue is not the term but our unified actions to eliminate such health-harming behavior against targets all across American workplaces.

To learn more about the high cost of these workplace deviants, read Stanford Professor Robert Sutton’s book, “The No A**hole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t” and Workplace Bullying Institute Founder Dr. Gary Namie’s book, “The Bully at Work.”

Working diligently and faithfully to create a civilized workplace.

Respectfully,

Kevin Kennemer
Founder & Partner
The People Group
Certified Great Workplace

Workplace bullying is a very real problem. People like you and me deal with the brutal effects of psychological mistreatment every day.  Someone recently asked the following, very important question. It is important to share the question and my answer to TPG Blog readers.

Question

I have some questions on workplace bullying.  From the websites and advice given by many advocates, the victim is told to leave his/her job if things don’t improve. Why?  It would seem there is an inequity here.  The victim is punished financially for being victimized by his/her coworker. What legislation has been introduced (and not passed) that protects a victim’s rights?

Answer

Dear Friend, thank you for your questions. Allow me to respond based on my actual experiences and research.

Bullying is Legal: It is perfectly legal to bully employees in the United States as long as it is not racial or sexual based discrimination.  It is not illegal to be a jerk in the office.  In fact, in some business environments, tyrants tend to be rewarded for their behavior although it has been proven their behavior is destructive, not productive.

What should I do? One might think going to Human Resources would help you resolve the problem.  In most cases the bully has political power and influence and Human Resources has overwhelming sided with bullies and management, rather than the target of abuse.  HR will likely turn their back on targets unless the abuse is tied to illegal discrimination.

Why should I consider resigning? The long-term effects on bullying targets are treacherous.  Anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, gastrointestinal disease, headaches, autoimmune diseases, and the list goes on.  In addition, the target can have a difficult time working a full-time job after prolonged exposure to the psychological mistreatment at work.  Many times the best thing for the employee is to put themselves first and resign.

Confronting the bully: No doubt the target should confront the bully before resigning from their position.  It helps to bring someone with you during the confrontation.  You need to tell the bully you will not stand for further behavior that is unacceptable.  If the bully tries to attack you verbally, simply walk away and tell them you do not have to be subjected to this behavior.  If he/she stops future bullying, that is great.  If not, you probably should find another job if you can.

Resources: Besides the resources on my website, I highly recommend you read the book, “The Bully at Work” by Dr. Gary Namie, a good friend and absolute expert on the topic.  His website is also full of useful information.  http://bullyinginstitute.org

Legislation: The Workplace Bullying Institute keeps track of this information.  There are currently 12 states that have introduced legislation to prevent workplace bullying.  http://workplacebullyinglaw.org

Are you dealing with a bully at work? You are not alone. More than 37 percent of workers are also in the same situation.

One of the most effective actions you can take is to call out the bully.  Once you look at the reality of the situation, it allows you to identify and properly name the mistreatment occurring at work.  Work should not hurt.  Name it and confront it.

Your inclination will be to tough it out, think you are the problem and try to perform your way out of the bullying situation. However, workplace psychopaths don’t play by the rules.  Long-term exposure to bullying is harmful to your health and typically leads to anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and a host of other medical issues.  Unfortunately, bullying is legal in the United States.

The following BNET video is a terrific resource to help you understand the importance of acknowledging the situation.

Video: Calling a Bully a Bully

It is perplexing why women who are beaten by their husbands return to their abuser.  It seems the best solution for the wife would be to leave the toxic environment and find a place of safety, especially if children are involved.  It is my understanding abused women linger in the relationship due to low self-esteem, self-blame and depression.  The quality of life outside the abusive home is a big question mark and the fear can be paralyzing.  In addition, the abuser can be a charming con-artist who fools the outside world that he would never be abusive.

Employees in abusive employment situations are not that different.  A psychologically abused employee will question the quality of life outside their toxic work environment.  Will work-life be better somewhere else?  Maybe it is my fault the boss berates me in front of my coworkers, thinks the confused employee. It is hard to imagine life outside of their current company.  Mortgage payments and bills continue to arrive and force us to work in unmanageable situations.

Furthermore, we are not a nation of quitters. The act of quitting will not be found in the latest motivational best seller or seminar. Leaving a toxic boss and work culture, on the other hand, may be exactly what you need to do when the odds are stacked against you.

Learning this important career lesson was difficult. It is not in my nature to quit.  My inclination is to hang on and try to reverse a bad workplace situation. Helping organizations dissolve toxic environments is encoded in my DNA.  Working for or dealing with workplace bullies, overly aggressive Type A’s, passive aggressive Type B’s, brutal alpha males and females, corporate assholes and outright jerks has had a sadistic hold on me.  Even in the midst of misery I seek to solve problems.

Accept my advice: It does not pay to be Dr. Phil at work.

An abused spouse cannot reform their partner.  Targets of workplace psychopaths will not reform their perpetrator.  Don’t get sucked in and feel sorry for the abusive boss and all their mental or emotional problems. Traumatic Bonding and Stockholm Syndrome are very real issues.

According to Dr. Nikolai Bezroukov, Traumatic Bonding, also known as Stockholm Syndrome, may be defined as the development of strong emotional ties between two persons, with one person intermittently harassing, beating, threatening, abusing or intimidating the other.

When the perpetrator is your boss, pay close attention to the detrimental affects on your life. Staying in your position can cause severe health and family issues.  Look at your options.  There are companies that have Great Workplace Initiatives who have fired all their jerks and abusers.  There is a better place to earn a living and live your life.

Knowing when to quit is an important strategy if you find yourself in a toxic work environment or abusive employment situation.

Now read “Twelve Signs You Work for a Toxic (Bully) Boss” by Dr. Gary Namie